I have been blessed with the job I have been basically handed, in the fact that everyone there is very open minded and cool. However, today I had a very embarrassing moment for myself, the customer and the other coworker involved. Though my boss and most of my other employees usually roll with it when a customer refers to me as "he", the newbies are often taken off guard and usually correct the customer embarrassing both me and the customer. We have such a newbie there now (it has been a while since I have had a new employee that is actually allowed to wait on people....we usually hide them in the back) and today I was waiting on a group of middle aged soccer moms. They love getting flirted with and the more you flatter them, the more money you can get them to spend...until the guy they thought was flirting with them turns out to be a girl and then all of a sudden it is as uncomfortable as an Oxygen Network mini-series. I have had this occur quite often in the past and after an explanation the co-worker how it is best to just leave it alone and never correct an employee, I usually don't have to worry about it again with them.
Not so lucky with the new guy.
He is a great guy, a kind and warm-hearted guy, but he isn't the brightest guy in the world and he keeps 'correcting' customers. Here lies the issue; I don't feel that this is a correction anymore. I feel in my heart and soul that I am a male and therefore everyone should see that too; but the fact is that physically I am not a female and De still tends to introduce me a female, so that is what my co-workers are to understand initially. When dealing with someone of below-normal intelligence it is hard to explain and it can be difficult to understand. The frustration I have is growing and I know that I shouldn't be getting so angry with him, but that doesn't stop the cycle.
I really didn't mean to go on that rant but it just struck me today that I get so frustrated now because I want to be referred to as 'he' and a correction by anyone but myself is a slap in the face. I have been accepted by most of my male co-workers into their own little "man-world" a very Jane Goodall-esque experience. I then became comfortable in this world but then expected it from all my other male friends. This caused a bit of tension and annoyance, alas I pulled back a bit because I knew it was going to be hard for the guys that I knew as "Alaina" to put that aside. I know more acceptance will come in time and I just need to be patient. This is not going to be any easier any time soon.
Sorry, I was following along and all set to be serious, but then I got to the "Jane Goodall-esque experience" and snorted out loud.
ReplyDeleteI can understand where you're coming from, as "Cody" is not Cody's birth name. He gives more understanding to those who knew him before the change, but gets frustrated when they insist on introducing him that way. People tend to stick with what they've been told from the start.
As frustrating as that can be, it's "just" a name, though. The pronouns of he/she are indicators of who someone is talking to or about, but also much deeper than that.
I do hope it gets better with these particular individuals, but in the meantime use the incredible gift of sarcasm that you have to find a way to make it funny without making it into a joke. You've got a special sense of humor, and I think you have it for a reason.
I'm rambling.
You're probably not surprised...
Love you
Don't ask me why I'm crying, but I am. I love you very much Lain and I always have. I do accept you for you, not that you need my acceptance and not that there really is anything to accept--you are who you are. Penis or no penis--boobs or no boobs, it does not make you anyone different than the individual I met 11 years ago. The person who out of the kindness and generosity of his heart was willing to put me up for a couple months so I had somewhere to live (when I did not have one).
ReplyDeleteI truly am very sorry. I love you immensely.